Mom Confessions: stealing from Target, craving independence, and navigating your return to the workforce
because there is no such thing as a perfect mom
Motherhood can be messy, and only focusing on the highlights never made anyone feel less alone! Welcome to Mom Confessions, a space to get the hard stuff off your chest, hear from other moms going through it, and find solace in our shared struggles. Read on for anonymous submissions from moms just like you.
“When I was a new mom of two, I accidentally stole something from Target. My new baby was in her carseat in the shopping cart, my toddler was in the kid seat, and I'd piled the groceries and other Target items around the baby. We checked out as my toddler starting her meltdown as I strategically placed the bags and sped out of the store. The alarm went off but the store associate waved me through. I successfully strapped in my toddler, got the groceries in the car, and as a last step lifted the baby's carseat where I saw I bottle of body wash I'd missed and definitely didn't pay for. I stared at it, my toddler wailing in the background, my baby on a countdown until I had to feed her, and my mental math of the effort to unbuckle my crying toddler, put my baby back in the cart, and go back into Target to pay for it wasn't mathing. I stole the bottle and vowed to make a donation to my favorite charity to fix the bad karma of stealing. I still feel a little bad about it though.”
“I spent a year at home with my daughter but I currently can’t think about anything other than going back to work. I miss getting ready every day, contributing to our household income, having independence and actually interacting with other adults!! I know there are things that I’ll miss as a SAHM but right now, I am ready for this next step again. I feel guilty, as if spending time with my daughter isn’t enough, but that’s not it. I simply miss working and am probably doing this for selfish reasons.”
“Working moms, are we okay?! I went back to work 8 weeks ago and I feel like my quality of life has tanked. I wake up earlier to breastfeed before work, have to pump 3 times per day in the office, sit in stupid traffic to get home at 6pm and then after cleaning pump parts, scrambling for dinner, introducing solids, giving son a bath, getting him to sleep at 8pm and showering myself, I’m finally like “Hi husband, how are you?” My husband does lots of work too (daycare pick up and drop off, grocery pick ups, cleaning and prepping bottles, bath time, etc.), but I still miss maternity leave! That time was busy but I had more time for family and home life that I miss now. I was doing mommy & me classes and taking walks daily, now my legs are shriveling at my desk because when do I work out?! I feel guilty because I still have more flexible work situation than many moms, but when my 401k vests in a few months, I’ll have my two weeks notice ready. ”
“I have complained to anyone who will listen (mainly my best friend and sister) about how difficult the summers are to coordinate and arrange childcare for elementary aged kids. About how I’m so burnt out by mothering, the summer energy, etc.
I’m granted my wish of some quiet time (they went for a week with their grandparents) and now miss them so much, I have anxiety. I guess the universe can’t win with this mom! ”
Submit yours here.
I relate to so many of these – was excited to get back to work–I missed having conversations with other adults!–and I only did 3 months maternity leave. Also... working FT and being a mom is FT – it's exhausting. No two ways about it.
As a mom currently navigating this chapter too, I feel that tug-of-war between missing independence and missing my baby all at once. It’s such a layered experience. I’ve been having so many conversations lately (both personally and professionally) with women trying to make sense of this shift. It’s comforting to know we’re not alone in feeling conflicted.