The Real Cost of Kids | Volume 10
Charleston, SC
It takes a village... and a whole lot more. We asked real parents to share a peek behind the curtain, from daycare that costs more than their mortgage to the surprising economics of buying berries in bulk.
Where do you live? (City, State)
Charleston, SC
What is your annual household income?
$325,000
How many kids do you have, and what are their ages?
1 aged 2.5 years
What is your relationship status?
Married
Do any of your children have special needs that require additional resources?
We use to be enrolled in OT provided by the state, one hour once a week for 5 months.
What is your estimated cost of childcare annually? This includes after-school care, summer camps, and care for older kids. Please indicate type of care and approximate total annual expense.
$21,500 annually for full time childcare
$3,600 in supplementally babysitting (two date nights a month at $150 a night)
$300 two seasons of “soccer” once a week for 6 months
What is your monthly cost of housing? (rent/mortgage, utilities, property taxes, etc.):
$7,600
Estimated monthly cost of child-related goods? (diapers, formula, groceries, toys, clothes, etc.)
$1,000
Estimated monthly cost of education? Please indicate grade/type of education and annual expense.
When we move over to early childhood school it will be $28,000/year for 10 months and another $5,000 for the summer session.
Estimated monthly cost of family fun activities and outings?
$1,300 on eating out, paid museum and park access activities, and memberships. But mostly eating out with him and vacations annually.
Do you have any college savings or investment accounts set up for your kids? Please share which kind and how much goes into them monthly.
Yes, a 529. We contribute $10k annually.
How much of your household income is left to save or invest each month?
Bonuses go into Investments and are sporadic. I am currently starting a new business venture and that will be changing how we do everything.
Total Average Monthly Spend:
What has surprised you as the most expensive part of having kids?
I was always told childcare was expensive, but we moved into the home we did for a better life/school options and even so, we still may go the private route. So it was really to suffice the “suburban” dream of a house with a yard in a desirable and mainly safe area. That’s not just for him of course but for us. The fast life was quickly traded for a slow life and the slow life sounds less expensive, but in Charleston and with these rates, it’s not. We’re so, so fortunate for the life we live but we do have help with my mother, and having one “village” member has been tremendously helpful!
How much have you spent in the last 12 months on medical expenses related to your own pregnancy, birth, and pediatric care?
$6,000 for recent late-term miscarriage procedures and $500 in pediatric visits. I’m also going through fertility treatments in hopes of growing our family and that is all out of pocket.
Has having children affected your career choices or earning potential? If so, how?
Yes, I had a situation with my previous employer where I divulged my PP depression and they subsequently worked to push me out over 5 months. My husband has turned down relocating and upward mobility for a more stable life.
Have you had to make any major purchases or home modifications for your children? (think larger home, different car, renovations, etc.)
Yes. We now have a second car due to no longer living in a walkable neighborhood, and that is another $650 a month on top of our first car payment. We renovated his bathroom to make it clean and kid-friendly when we moved in ($12,000).
Did you or your partner take parental leave? If so, was it paid or unpaid?
I took 4 months paid leave and my husband took two weeks paid.
How much sleep do you get per night on average?
Now we are so lucky to have a good sleeper, and he sleeps through the night, so I’m getting 8 hours.
How has having children impacted your social life and personal relationships?
I’ve lost friendships due to being in different phases of life. I’ve had a hard time keeping up with those, and I wish I could more. But I’ve also gained so many incredible friendships with new mothers and I’m so grateful for those!
What hobbies or activities have you had to give up or significantly reduce since having children?
I’ve always been someone who has had a hard time with hobbies. I start and stop so nothing has changed with kids… ADHD I suppose.
What aspects of parenting do you find most rewarding, despite the costs?
When he only wants a hug from Mama, when he calls out for me in the morning… My heart is full of love I have never experienced before, and even on those bad days it’s the biggest dopamine hit when he runs to me at daycare. I know children aren’t there to fix our problems and these may seem so surface but he has changed my body and soul for the better. I’m a softer, slower person because of him and I try my hardest to act on intention because of him.
How has having children affected your mental health and stress levels?
I unfortunately did have a terrible bout of PPD and looking back those were some really sad days. I’m certainly more stressed than ever—I have intrusive thoughts by the minute that impact my day to day. I also know my recent miscarriage has contributed immensely to my state.
If you could go back in time, would you have done anything or prepared differently before having kids?
I would have frozen my eggs when I was younger knowing what I know now.
What’s one piece of financial advice you’d give to new or expecting parents?
Try to think about the “sacrifices” you’re making as gains. I know this may seem insane to some people given our financial state and I recognize that privilege but everyone sacrifices (gains something).
Want to share your own? Fill out this anonymous survey to be included in a future edition of The Real Cost of Kids.