The Real Cost of Kids | Volume 9
Harrisburg, PA
It takes a village... and a whole lot more. We asked real parents to share a peek behind the curtain, from daycare that costs more than their mortgage to the surprising economics of buying berries in bulk.
Where do you live? (City, State)
Harrisburg, PA
What is your annual household income?
$215,727
How many kids do you have, and what are their ages?
Two kids. 3 and 8 weeks
What is your relationship status?
Married
What is your estimated cost of childcare annually? This includes after-school care, summer camps, and care for older kids. Please indicate type of care and approximate total annual expense.
$14,256 for one child. This will soon double when our 8-week-old starts daycare in a few months.
What is your monthly cost of housing? (rent/mortgage, utilities, property taxes, etc.):
$1672
Estimated monthly cost of child-related goods? (diapers, formula, groceries, toys, clothes, etc.)
$200
Estimated cost of child-related activities on a monthly basis? (think classes, sports, lessons, extra-curriculars, etc.)
$20. We're good at finding free child related activities and our three year old gets tons of activity at daycare. Our daycare is owned by the local JCC. The JCC offers classes for daycare families like swimming lessons and itty bitty basketball at a highly discounted rate.
Estimated monthly cost of family fun activities and outings?
$100. My husband is a volunteer first responder and gets offered discounted tickets for a lot of activities
Do you have any college savings or investment accounts set up for your kids? Please share which kind and how much goes into them monthly.
We have 529s set up for both kids. My husband and I have not completely combined our finances even though we've been together for 8 years. So I do not invest in the accounts each month but my husband does since he is the higher earner between the two of us. Both sets of grandparents have contributed to their 529s as birthday gifts so there is growth in both accounts. I need to redo my budget so I'm adding to the 529s more consistently.
How much of your household income is left to save or invest each month?
My husband and I both max out our IRAs each year (roughly $580 per person per month). I save roughly $200/month for an emergency fund in a high yield savings account. I also save $5/week for a brokerage account to augment my emergency fund.
Total Average Monthly Spend:
What has surprised you as the most expensive part of having kids?
How willing I am to spend money if I think it will make them happy. My husband and I are pretty disciplined about money when spending it on ourselves, but my discipline has lessened on "fun money" decisions when it comes to my daughters. We still budget of course, but I can tell my psychology has changed around spending on them specifically.
How much have you spent in the last 12 months on medical expenses related to your own pregnancy, birth, and pediatric care?
I gave birth in February so we hit our $3,000 deductible almost right away.
Has having children affected your career choices or earning potential? If so, how?
Yes, I have definitely changed my own ambitions since having kids. I used to be a classic first-born overachiever. After my first daughter was born I quickly realized I would burn out if I kept pushing myself to scale the career ladder as rapidly as I wanted while trying to adjust to motherhood. I'm considering this moment in time a "rest period" for my professional ambitions. I am a better parent when I work full time, so I have no intention of leaving the workforce, but my head is really focused on my kids and not work right now. My husband recently was promoted which was very well deserved. At my mentor's suggestion, I applied for a promotion shortly before giving birth and was passed over because they needed someone to start while I was on maternity leave. My mentor assured me there would be additional opportunity for me, but I would be lying if I said I was not disappointed that it didn't work out.
Have you had to make any major purchases or home modifications for your children? (think larger home, different car, renovations, etc.)
No
Did you or your partner take parental leave? If so, was it paid or unpaid?
Yes, both my husband and I got paid parental leave. I took 12 weeks paid with both kids. My husband was able to take 6 weeks with our first and 8 with our second.
How much sleep do you get per night on average?
Not a lot right now with a newborn! But I know the newborn phase goes quickly so I'm not sweating it.
How has having children impacted your social life and personal relationships?
It has absolutely impacted my relationships with my friends. I was the first of my friends to have children, so it was isolating going through motherhood milestones alone with my first. With my second I've met a lot more parents, so I feel like I have more of a village now.
What hobbies or activities have you had to give up or significantly reduce since having children?
The only hobbies I can keep up with are reading and listening to podcasts. My husband still keeps volunteering and that has been an issue in our relationship since I feel like I've sacrificed more in that area than he has.
What aspects of parenting do you find most rewarding, despite the costs?
All of it. Being a parent is the best thing I've ever done. I truly feel like I was put on this earth to raise the next generation of strong women.
How has having children affected your mental health and stress levels?
I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression as a teenager and have been on and off medication my entire adult life. Medication has been really helpful tool for me in addition to therapy. I try to be open about my experiences because I feel so strongly we need to normalize talking about mental health, particularly as parents.
If you could go back in time, would you have done anything or prepared differently before having kids?
I would have tried to get into better shape before having a second kid. I really feel like I'm building from the ground up trying to get back into shape this time around. Trying to find time to take care of yourself as a mom is really hard, whether or not you work outside the home.
(Psst. Everymom team jumping in here. If this resonates with you, we wanted to pass along this (free!) 2-week strength training plan that our team loves! If you’re looking to get stronger (at home, in less than 30 minutes!) this is the ticket. Two weeks of at-home workouts, with a video to walk you through each one!)
What’s one piece of financial advice you’d give to new or expecting parents?
Try to budget some money to spend just on yourself, even if it's just a nice coffee once a week. Moms deserve nice things too!
Want to share your own? Fill out this anonymous survey to be included in a future edition of The Real Cost of Kids.